My Birthday Recipes

I am 26 today, and I decided to cook without referring to any recipes or guide. and well, I am very very proud of my cooking this time.

Here are the recipes that I cooked for today.

Creamy Carbonara

Ingredients:

butter, 1/3 of the regular block

2 white onions, cut into small cubes

6-9 cloves of garlic, minced (can vary depending on your preference)

250 grams of bacon, sliced into small pieces

2 medium sized green bell pepper, cut into small dices

3 small red bell pepper, cut into small dices

4 cans of cream of mushrooms

1 pack of all purpose cream

500 grams fettucine pasta

Instructions:

1. Cook pasta as instructed in the back label. Set aside.
2. In the sauce pan, melt butter in low fire.
3. Saute garlic and onion.
4. When onion is translucent, mix in bacon till cooked.
5. Add in green and red bell peppers. Cook till done.
6. Pour in contents of 4 cans of cream of mushroom. Let it simmer.
7. Add in all purpose cream and mix. Simmer for a few minutes.
8. Add sauce to cooked pasta. Enjoy.

Lemon Fish Fillet and Tartar Sauce

2 slices of cream dory fillet, cut into strips

1 lemon, juiced

salt

1 egg, beaten

flour

bread crumbs

Instructions:

1. Marinade fillet strips in lemon juice and salt. Pepper is optional.
2. Cover fillet strips with all purpose flour.
3. Dip fillet strips in beaten egg.
4. Cover with bread crumbs.
5. Deep fry in hot oil.

Tartar Sauce:

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon mayonnaise  with pickle relish

1 tablespoon low fat mayonnaise

3 stalks parsley

1 small onion white

1 piece calamansi juice

Instructions:

1. Mix the 2 kinds of mayonnaise in a small bowl.
2. Mince parley leaves and white onions.
3. Mix in minced parsley leaves and white onions to mayonnaise.
4. Juice 1 calamansi into the mixture.
5. Mix all ingredients thoroughly.

~Free Talk #2~

Looks like I’ll be updating my blog more these days. My Ragnarok account got scammed, and I really mean damn those posers! <sorry for the word, but I hate them>

And so I quit from playing Ragnarok, since it is troublesome making another account and starting all over again… T_T Goodbye to my lvl 99 assassin and lvl 91 crusader… T_T my loyal Isis and Petite…

So enough for the blabbering and time to move on. I am very looking  forward on my almost 2-weeks vacation from work. I have a week to go and really, I am very excited. I have saved some money from my last payday, so that would be my additional money for my holiday vacation in Ilocos Sur.

I am pretty hoping that my vacation would be a great one.

My New Baby : Asus K52J

Yesterday, I bought my new baby. *Drumrolls*

K52JR front view

 

The design is sleek and simply elegant. It is made slim, and lightproof (2.75kg, but i think this is less because i find my boyfriend’s HP Elite Book heavier). Keyboard area is carbonized so it is quite scratch free. Cooling system is placed on the left side of the lappy, unlike the conventional rear cooling system. Best thing I loved on the design is the keyboard itself. I really have a hard time on other laptops with the compact keys, but this one have isolated keys. As one review I read before for NEO 2270N which has the same keyboard design, nagpipilit maging MacBook. hehehe!!!

the keys...

the touchpad

on the other side...

Specification: Win Win!!! My boyfriend is so excited on this one, and he even bargained for me for us to be able to get this lappy.

See this link for full specs in Asus webite”: http://www.asus.com/product.aspx?P_ID=CyyiEd0t9iKZ6Afg

We also did check the rating of performance in windows 7:

5.1 rating

 

With a budget of 37500 php, this is indeed a best buy!!!

I’d loved to take the actual pics of my lappy but the covers are still there… making sure the unit is safe for the 7 day replacement. Still, it leaves me a very happy customer! ^^

Avatar on IMAX

* First of all, I’d like to thank my Boyfriend, Marc, for being so persistent to make me watch this movie. Thanks Marc. ^^

OK, so after Christmas, my boyfriend bugged me to watch Avatar on IMAX. I am not the movie freak, nor the movie freak, so when we learned that the available slot for IMAX showing is at 7:55 PM (which is late for me), I did not hesitated to decline watching it. Marc, on the other hand, really wanted to see it on IMAX (since he alerady saw it on 2d screen) so we got back December 30th to see it.

December 30th- worse than December 26. No available IMAX slots T.T Again, it did not hurt me, but then, I said that we can buy tickets in advance and we got slots for January 2. So the day was spent for joining the snake road line to have our tickets.

January 2 – We got the 4:55 PM slot. I was with my brother (whom I paid one extra ticket for), and we three got in at 5:00PM. Good thing upcoming movie trailers saved our butts so we were able to start the show.

I wont be telling the synopsis of the story anymore.

Just my pure thoughts…

First, watching it in IMAX, is reaaallllyyy worth it. The long line and long wait really paid of. Imagine 2+ hours of watching 3d animation at its best. Indeed, Avatar opened new bounderies for 3d goodness and showed what 3d animation can do.

At the start of the show, where the army were on an aircraft and one bumped into a gallon of whatever-it-is, and then stood the gallon up… that was my first eyecatcher, to think that they added that kind of small humor.

Next up, the designs. Very polished and highly rendered details to make each characters’ features look like a true human. I am fascinated on how they rendered the mouth when they are talking. The shape matches each syllable of their scripts!

Very creative. The design of the creatures from the avatar planet, its is very very creative. The colors and details were everywhere. the floating mountains, vine and tree root bridges~ what else can i say? Breath-taking.

The only thing I hated (and I say, only me) is the idea of a human soul passing to an avatar soul. (Yes, the ending). I am sorry but this part is a fairy tale ending, and really, it made no sense for me. (OK, I admit! I’m cold and hard-heart freak, and I dont believe in fairy tales!)

BTW, I loved the design and the attitude of the airship driver gurl! She rocks!!! Hehehe! ^^

Jam’s rating: 9.5

My Carbonara Recipe

This Christmas, my father asked me to cook pasta with white sauce. He loves eating pasta with white sauce. And I am very proud he loved my recipe. He even requested me to cook the same pasta for New Year ^^

So here is my carbonara recipe:

Ingredients:

1 stick butter

3 cloves garlic, chopped

2 big white onions, chopped

1.5 cups sliced mushrooms (preferably button mushrooms)

3 cans condensed mushroom soup

1/4- 1/3 kgs bacon

1/2 kg pasta (fettucine or spaghetti will do)

Procedures:

1. Melt margarine.
2. Saute the chopped garlic and onions.
3. Add in chopped bacon. Saute until cooked.
4. Add in chopped mushrooms. Set aside for about 1-2 minutes.
5. Mix in condensed mushroom soup. Let it simmer.
6. Pitch in a spoonful or two of cheese spread. Please take note that this is an optional step.
7. Add to cooked pasta and enjoy.

To cook pasta:

1. Boil water.
2. Add a spoon of salt.
3. Add in pasta and let it cook until al dente.
4. To make sure that pasta wont stick together when cooked, add a spoon of cooking oil.
5. Drain pasta after cooking.

Enjoy the pasta! ^^

Notes:

1. You can use cocktail shrimps instead of bacon.
2. If you want to add spice on the sauce, you may add 1 piece of red chili when sauteing garlic and onion, but DO NOT crush the chili. Another is to add jalapeno processed cheese instead of the cheese spread.
3. You may omit adding the cheese spread. You may also add grated cheddar cheese or parmesan cheese on top of the sauce for additional taste.
   

~Free Talk~

It’s nice to be back. I’ve been out for sometime, and I’ve been very very busy playing Ragnarok Online! *Rok On!* \m/^_^\m/

I started playing Ragnarok last year. I really wanted to be a knight so I decided to make a character of a swordsman. I got busy with my work and abandoned my swordie for a long time. Got hooked again with the game since June this year. Since June, I started making an archer which turned into a Hunter level 70.

I got a little bit tired of the hunter, and the swordie was still a swordie. I wanted to see more crit hits. I decided to make an Assassin.

So far, it is my assassin that really makes me enjoy the game. She is now at level 83. I got really really busy collecting Bravery Badges from Battlegrounds. This is where you can play PVP with other players without costing you EXP. Right now, I was able to produce:

• Carnage Katar (100 Bravery Badges) – Particularly modified Katar created for battles against humanoids. It makes to fill in the battle field with full of blood and terrifying crime if Master Assassins equipped.
  STR + 1, Dex + 1, Luk + 1
  Increases physical attack against Demi human monster by 70%.
  Adds 20% defense to the Demi human monster.
  Indestructible (except in upgrade attempts).
• Assassin Robe (80 Bravery Badges) – If you desired to move more quickly, it might help. It brings multiple effects when compounded as a set.
  Max HP + 150. MDEF + 2.
  Reduces damage from Demihuman monster by 2%.
• Captain’s Manteau (50 Bravery Badges) – A dignified, splendid Manteau that is provided to warrior who brought great honor from the Battle field.
  Add a 1% resistance against Demihuman monster.
  Max HP + 50. MDEF + 1.
• Battle Greaves (50 Bravery Badges) – A Greave that optimized the quality of its ability for the battle.
  Add a 1% resistance against Demihuman monster.
  Max HP + 100. MDEF + 1.

Here’s more:

[Combat Greaves & General's Manteau Equip Set]
AGI + 3. Maximum HP + 12%. Critical Rate + 5%.
Increases Attack Speed by 5%.
When attacking physically, there is a chance to recover 3000HP over per 10 seconds.
Increases damage recieved from all Non-Demihuman monster by 3 times.

Quite good right? Not yet. Right now, I am planning to get these from Battlegrounds:

• Medal of Honor (500 Badges)- Battlegrounds Reward Item.
  ATK + 5%, MATK + 5%, Flee Rate + 10, Maximum HP + 300, Maximum SP + 80
  Add 1% chance of auto casting Poison on the enemy when attacking.
• Glorious Ring (KVM Points) – Increases damage against Fire, Water, Earth, Wind Property monsters by 10%.
  HP + 300
  Attack Speed +5%
  Reduce Casting Time by 3%.
  Increases Heal, Sanctuary, and Potion Pitcher effectiveness by 5%.

  [Battlegrounds Accesories Equip Set]
  Attack Power + 5%
  Magical Attack + 3%
  Increases Heal, Sanctuary, and Potion Pitcher effectiveness by 5%.

Wee! Once this is done, and with enough level ups, I think my Assassin will be pretty ready for PVP!!!

I am also saving money to buy Baphomet Horns for my Assassin:

Baphomet Horns – A headgear made from the horns of Baphomet.
Increases physical damage to the Demi Human monster by 12%.
As your JOB Level increases,the helm grants additional ATK.

Once this is done, I’ll post my Assassin’s Status and pics. Hope this’ll happen ^_^

And about my Swordie, she’s not a swordie anymore. She’s now a level 55 Crusader. Will let her ride her peco peco later. Right now, I’ll get some rest and when I wake up later, RO server patching will be done. So that’s it for now. Ja!

Masked Rider Black is Back!!!

For those whose youth visited the 80′s, who will not know the famous Rider Change!, Rider Punch!, Rider Kick!, Bug Hopper and Road Sector? If you guessed Masked Rider Black or Kamen Rider, YOU ARE RIGHT!

And here is more. The original Kamen Rider Black is back as Robert Akizuki, on

Kamen Rider Decade

See him on the video below. For those who doesnt know him, he’s the one on white jacket. And he is the same guy on black jacket.

And this is him some FEW years ago…

An Otaku’s Basic Commodity

Okay Okay Okay! I admit, I am an otaku! Anime with a touch of gaming geek to be precise. My Ultima weapon – my computer table, filled with all my otaku commodities.  Starting with my PC

It’s not the type to boast for, really. My desktop is very very simple. Good enough for my surfing, gaming, and learning purposes.

My monitor is already about 4 years old. A 15 inch white AOC monitor. Quite old but very sturdy. Very good staying up till late night gaming.

I have an A4 Tech silver and black (LCDS-720) keyboard. It is slim, and very very soft. Makes you wanna type more! XD This is teamed up by an A4 ball black mouse. I prefer this more because of its consistency. I give up using scroll mouses, unless its for learning Maya.

I received a Genius G-Pen F610 Pen Tablet from my boyfriend last year. I seldom use it though, because it is quite inconsistent. I’m not sure if its wth the pen or the tablet. Though when it works, it provides good performance. Sensibility of the pen with the tablet works well in Photoshop CS2 (haven’t tried it on CS3 or CS4 though). Flaw: USB connection. Since the USB connection is fixed on the device itself, once its damaged, this item will make no sense at all.

My PC is all powered up by na AMD Athlon X2 2.7 GB True Dual Core, MSI K9N6PGM2 Mainboard, 2Gig DDR2 RAM, and supported by a 80GB and a 40 GB hard drives. For backup purposes, I have a black LG DVD writer. I have been owning an HP Deskjet F380 all-in-one printer, copier and scanner for 3 years now. Prints are awesome; Scans are sleek… haven’t tried using the copier since I’m not using it for mass copies. XD For my internet, I am using Sun Wireless broadband with speed up to 2GB, and believe me, it works good on my PC.

The old white speaker at the back is the oldest item on my desk. It is already 8 years since I had it on my first PC bundle. And from that initial bundle, and after all upgrades, this one still is working.

My PSP 2000 (which I bought 2 years ago) is also by my side and has always been my best friend. It had taught me how to appreciate RPGs, so currently my fingers are tingling for Disgaea 2 and I am waiting for the release of Kingdom Hearts in PSP.

Speaking of Kingdom Hearts, I now have 2 handheld consoles. Added on my console is a Nintendo GameBoy Micro which I was able to get from our high school batch’s auction. Why? Pretty much for my Kingdom Hearts series gaming experience. How much? It’s a secret

My computer table is not an otaku table if it has no anime stuff, so I have DeathNote set near the phone, and this morning, I placed my Afroken plushies on it.

To cap off my share of the space in our house, I have a shortcut space for grabbing my favorite manga, Rurouni Kenshin. TRIVIA: I have not finished watching this on anime, I NEVER even dared to read this online, but I want to know the story by buying the manga. My boyfriend helps me complete the set, and we are on chapter 20 already (on pic was only 17). So I keep the left side section of my PC for my RK manga section.

Tips for Sony Ericsson W960

I accidentally dropped my Sony Ericsson on my office’s carpeted flooring yesterday… and after that, my phone’s touch screen did not worked.

First thing to do (and always do) when your CP is not functioning is to REMAIN calm. Panicking over it might just do more damage. Go to your pc and search for an easy fix. Try it first.

For my case, I was drived to this site:

http://www.allaboutsymbian.com/archive/t-71741.html

It is a forum for those who got the same problem. Pushing the black button under the sim bed worked on my case, but if you want to have a complete guide for your phone, visit this site (allaboutsymbian site I gave above recommended this as well):

http://rapidshare.com/files/91814812/W960_CSPN.rar

This is a very useful link because you can be properly guided on anythng about your phone, especially if you are the techy type.

The Laws of Anime

When I was riding the train this morning, my mind travelled on the spot of my memory reading this when I was new at my present work. Would like to repost the laws of anime to share. Have fun.

#1 – Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 – Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
* Some things have been known to “Float” for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 – Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 – Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 – Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 – Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something “cool” or “impressive”. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 – First Law of Temporal Mortality- “Good Guys” and “Bad Guys” both die in one of two ways – either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in “Malletspace”, or something.

#8 – Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die… regardless of physical damage. Even when the “Bad Guys” are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 – Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a “Good Guy” kicks the “Bad Guy” in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as “The Matchstick City”.

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy “bulge”) before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

Like how Pikachu beats other pokemons...

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a “Good Guy” when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the “Bad Guys” when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A “Good Guy” in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of “Bad Guys” firing on a “Good Guy” standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary- The more “Bad Guys” there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary- Whenever a “Good Guy” is faced with insurmountable odds, the “Bad Guys” line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary- Whenever a “Good Guy” is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated “Good Guy Area”, usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the “Good Guy” from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.
*Fourth Corollary- The more times the “Bad Guy” fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work just as well…

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t…

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things… like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almosttwice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny “Bad Guy” or a big stupid “Good Guy”.

First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)

Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.

*Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome “Good Guys”.

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

Big Aaahhh....

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

Like how Blair trnasforms from this cat...

... to this witch....

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for “Good Guys” and red for “Bad Guys”. This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons… with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
*Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack… Unless it’s a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more “simple”
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on… especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called “The Five-man Rule”, when “Good
Guys” group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called “Malletspace”.
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world…

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though… the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys”
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

*#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

*#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the “Pikachu Effect”).
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the “Walking Against the Wind” stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic “Aaaaagh!”, and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

*#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the “Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor”) This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff< So True!!)

*#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

*#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys”
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the “Dragon Slave
Phenomenon”)

*52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

+#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

+#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

+#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

+#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any “Bad Guy” with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the “Good Guy” until it is too late.
First Corollary- All “Bad Guys” suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all “Bad Guys” to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the “Good Guy”.
Second Corollary- No “Bad Guy” may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the “Good Guy”.
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
“fooled” by the “Good Guy”.
d) The “Bad Guy” has already lost and cannot use the device.

+#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

+#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

+#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to “standard” or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

+#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)

+#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

+#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

+#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few… of even the one.

+#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
*(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

+#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)

+#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity “jumping”.
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian “opposite force” (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; “Earth gravity” speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the “actual” speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a “Bad Guy”. Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

+#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the “Good Guy’s” Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the “Bad Guy” inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by
an exponential increase in the “Good Guy’s” Style Coefficient.

+#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to “Bad Guy” characters, or “Good Guy” characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

+#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the “Good Guy’s” Style Coefficient, not only does the “Bad Guy” usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

+#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as “The Rushing Background Effect”. Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

+#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

+#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

+#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

+#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and
exposition]),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

+#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

+#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

+#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 48)

+#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

*#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life…

*#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

*#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

*#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

*#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any “Bad Guy” stating “T-that’s impossible!” whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

*#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish… but his old teacher did!

*#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

*#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the “Good Guy” (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.
*#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

*#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects… like bottles of 7-up.

*#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it…

*#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

*#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8″ and
up… completely… despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

*#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

*#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

*#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as “Dumb Luck”), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

*#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age (“She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!…”)
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle…
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting… offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

*#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the “A-ko/B-ko
Thing”)

*#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the “Priss Effect”.)

*#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

*#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so…

*#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.